You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
