what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
