Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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