He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
