I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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