this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
