omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
