Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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