The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
