it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sext me about skeletons
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
