If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
