Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize