Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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