well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
