Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize