Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize