he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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