Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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