Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
