Bisexual people are plain selfish.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
