Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
