my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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