A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
