Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize