she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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