How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
