it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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