I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
