He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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