We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
