So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
