he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
