so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
