She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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