I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
