Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
