Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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