I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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