Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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