I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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