You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
