btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So squirting runs in the family.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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