By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
