Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
