so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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