The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
