New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
