oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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