im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
