Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He passed out mid-signature
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
