it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well you can't waste a boner
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
