I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't deserve a penis
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
