Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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