it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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