Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
