I wish I could teleport
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
