My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
