I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
