Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
