Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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