Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
